Was I Groomed? Asking the Hardest Question

There Are Things We Carry

There are things we carry with us through life — memories that stand out, questions that never got answered, feelings or moments we were taught to dismiss. Things that didn’t seem right, even back then. Things that quietly eat away at us, year after year.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: our gut is usually right. Even if no one believed us. Even if we tried not to believe ourselves.

I share this blog not as an expert, but as a mother — and especially as the mother of a daughter. Because sometimes the bravest thing we can do is finally say out loud what we’ve been carrying all along.

Signs of Grooming (especially in children):

✅ Introducing sexual content — showing pornographic images, sexual videos, or talking about sex in ways that aren’t age-appropriate.

✅ Testing boundaries — “accidental” touches, sexual jokes, or comments about the child’s body to see how the child reacts.

✅ Secret keeping — encouraging the child to keep what’s happening “just between us.”

✅ Special treatment — giving gifts, special attention, or privileges to build trust and create a feeling of being “chosen.”

✅ Isolation — discouraging the child from spending time with peers or other adults who might notice something is wrong.

✅ Normalising sexual behaviour — making sexual comments, showing sexual materials, or describing sexual acts as normal or “fun.”

✅ Creating emotional dependence — making the child feel they need the adult, or that their bond is special and must be protected.

✅ Making the child feel complicit — suggesting the child wanted it, asked for it, or would get in trouble if anyone found out.

✅ Desensitising to touch or sexual talk — slowly escalating from non-sexual touch (like hugs or tickling) to sexualised contact or talk.

Important:

• Grooming can happen even if it never leads to physical contact.

• It can be done by strangers or by people the child knows and trusts (like family members, family friends, teachers, or coaches).

• The goal is always to break down the child’s natural boundaries and make abuse possible or keep the child silent.

With love,

Mumma ❤️

DISCLAIMER

I am not a licensed therapist, psychologist, or mental health professional. The information shared in this blog is based on personal experience, research, and general knowledge, and is intended for informational and supportive purposes only.

It should not be taken as professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

If you are struggling with your mental health or past trauma, please consider reaching out to a qualified mental health professional or trusted support service. You do not have to go through this alone.