How to Build Resilience (When Life Has Already Shown You No Mercy)

Life has punched you in the gut. Hard.

Maybe it was divorce, job loss, trauma, illness, or just the relentless weight of holding everything together while falling apart. If you’re still breathing? You’re already resilient. But here’s how to go from barely surviving to brutally unstoppable.

1. Own Your Story

You don’t need to sugarcoat what you’ve been through. Resilience starts when you stop pretending you’re fine and start taking back the narrative. You are not what happened to you. You are what you do next. It is easy to let your past define you, instead, let it inspire you. But remember, not everyone deserves your story either.

You are in control of what you share and how you share it, it's your story.

2. Set Boundaries Like a Savage

You can’t build resilience when you’re exhausted from people-pleasing. Say no. Say it louder. If someone drains your energy, block them like your life depends on it—because honestly, it does. You do not owe anything to anyone except yourself, especially people who such your energy like a vampire. It is not your job to be an unpaid therapist, someone else's hype person, or personal cheerleader. Now is your time to give all of that to yourself and give yourself the space to truly shine.

3. Build Routines That Keep You Grounded

Routine isn’t boring—it’s your anchor. A hot coffee. A walk. Five minutes of silence before the chaos. Give your nervous system something solid to hold onto.

It is time that you start working self-care into your schedule. Block that in your diary, make this a non-negotiable.

Routines create discipline, discipline creates habits, habits create success.

4. Let Yourself Fall—Then Get Up

Resilient women cry. Scream. Rage. Then they wipe their mascara, pull up their power panties, and get. back. up. Again.

Run yourself a hot bath, turn your phone off, allow yourself a window of time to let yourself fall. It is important to feel what you are feeling and let it move through you. Release is, get back up and be the kick ass person you were born to be.

5. Stop Waiting for a Lifeboat

No one’s coming. But that’s not bad news—that’s your awakening. You’re the lifeboat. The rescue. The comeback. Build the damn raft yourself, and row.

One of the scariest things to learn is that it is all on you. But you are the hero in your own story. Once you build that solid foundation of resilience you will become unstoppable.

6. Start Moving—Any Way You Can

Resilience lives in your body too. Walk. Stretch. Dance in your kitchen like you’re 22 again. Move energy out so you can move forward.

Set a goal for even 15 minutes a day. It does not have to be like you are training to go to war, you are training to regain your peace. Be kind to yourself.

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7. Talk to Yourself Like You’d Talk to Your Best Friend

If you wouldn’t say it to someone you love, don’t say it to yourself. You’re not lazy. You’re exhausted. You’re not broken. You’re rebuilding.

Practice words of love and kindness to yourself. Mirror work is a great way of doing this.

8. Stop Romanticising Struggle

Being a warrior doesn’t mean never needing rest. Put the cape down. Run a bath. Go quiet. You can be soft and still be strong as hell.

Resilience isn’t loud. Sometimes it’s just showing up again tomorrow.

With love,

Mumma XOXO

DISCLAIMER

I am not a licensed therapist, psychologist, or mental health professional. The information shared in this blog is based on personal experience, research, and general knowledge, and is intended for informational and supportive purposes only.

It should not be taken as professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.